Let Nobody Define Who Or What You Are!

--Bobby Holland

There are so many things that affect us as Black men. And now, with the heated emotional and mental climate, our young men have to be extremely alert. Many have no idea how to maneuver through the racial poisons they thought existed only “back in the day” during their great-grandparents’ era. It’s very sad to say it, but the true “heart” of things have not really changed. I’m talking about laws and things that would truly protect us all as African American males.

Despite all of it, the voice of the elders is vital: They have to interact more and remind the younger generation that they came from greatness—and they must never let anyone tell them anything different. Because if they rely on the media to uplift them and share important knowledge, they’ll be very disappointed. They’ll only get the same old lies. So, we MUST learn about ourselves. We have a strong and important history and we must not forget it—we are the creators and builders, though that truth has been basically wiped from history.

For me, whenever I’ve experienced tough times and life challenges, the wisdom and love of family, friends and lifelong connections have kept me, lifted me up, and encouraged me to stand strong and stay my course. It’s those relations that all of us need throughout our lives, and especially now during one of the toughest times in history. But young people have to learn to listen. That listening skill has to be developed, because it can literally save our lives. As an entrepreneur and a Black man in America I’m glad I have not been too proud to listen. And thankfully I did, because in so many instances moving pride aside and listening enabled me to be successful. Self- pride is a good thing, but we have to learn the difference between foolishness and self- esteem, personal dignity, and not allowing ourselves to become so arrogant we refuse to listen to wisdom when we’re presented with it.

I’ve noticed a number of things in the past few years—they are things that have always been around, but the methods have changed. For instance, the “haters” of the world have found new methods of telling lies and defining who we are as Black men. Whether it’s the media, the court systems, or the schools and educational places, we just have to decide not to listen to the BS they keep spreading. We have to find methods to tell our stories ourselves—and tell the truth of who we really are – not just to ourselves, but to the young folks.

The challenges we face are ongoing as Black men in America. I still face challenges every single day; however, I have always had self-confidence and have always been willing to put in the work to make things happen. I think it’s natural to experience challenges when you’re charting any new course in life and business. However, the great thing that comes with age and experience is that we have different tools in our tool boxes. And I like sharing the wisdom of others whom I respect and trust.

As an entrepreneur with an established career, I’ve faced challenges, which is not uncommon. But what brings the success is preparing for the tasks. Basically, it just means doing your homework, surrounding yourself with knowledgeable people and good information. I’ve learned there is no room for short cuts when you want to do excellent work. You have to think things through carefully, prepare, and always do your best. And be honest with yourself.

So many people have made a positive impact on my life. However, my mother and father made the biggest, most important impact on my life. And it’s something for parents to be conscientious about – because the children are not just listening, but watching. And their lives can be affected positively or negatively by what they see—not just what they are told.

When we leave the safety of the home/nest, all of us are confronted with problems and we must make important decisions to resolve them. Making decisions are non- stop: no matter if they are small or big decisions. We all have to find methods of stopping the noise of the world in order to come to the best decisions. For me, I find that isolation works. In that space of solitude, I really research the situation, I think it through and come to the best decision that I can. As Black men in America, we’re faced with decisions that some others are not, so it’s vital to find the best resources that we can. And sometimes this means looking back at our history, and to the great ancestors who came before us. What did they do in perilous or potentially life-altering situations. There are people in my life whose decisions required bravery and strength beyond the ordinary—that includes my parents. There have been others as well, including the renowned boxing champion, Muhammad Ali. He defied the U.S. government’s order to join the military during the formidable, controversial Viet Nam War. He said “No”, citing his religious convictions as a Muslim along with his opposition to that war that had taken so many lives—including young Black lives. His decision put not just his career in jeopardy, but his freedom. He was stripped of his Heavyweight Boxing Title, along with suspension from boxing, plus he was given a steep fine. The 5-year prison sentence was eventually overturned by the Supreme Court. So, this man has been a longtime hero of mine. Only a real man of truth and stable conviction would be able to do such a thing as Muhammad Ali did. And during these times, we have to all decide what matters to us and stand up for that—whatever it may be.

So, where do we as Black men in America go from here—with the very serious situations we are now confronted with? My answer is that we must never give up! We must continue to educate ourselves, be honest with ourselves. Most importantly, I say to all of us men, and especially to our younger generation of Black males: Don’t let anybody define who or what you are!

*Bobby Holland is a respected professional photographer and filmmaker who has worked with some of the world’s most renowned personalities, including …